we have pet lesbian snakes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
