Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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