So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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