garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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