Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
