Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
