You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
