Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
