i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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