Plan B is the new Plan A
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
