The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
