His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
