We won't sleep together?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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