no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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