I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
