yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
