Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
