Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
