he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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