so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
