Got a toothbrush?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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