Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
