You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
