david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
