piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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