You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
