I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
