Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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