Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
