I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She even gives head with a lisp.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I woke up under a house in Key West
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
