We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
