Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
