I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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