Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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