He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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