I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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