I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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