No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk