What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
