Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
