Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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