I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
