You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
