Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
