The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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