what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
