Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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