I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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