I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
