Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So vagazzling was a success
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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