STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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