i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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