yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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