I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
