i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize