I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
