If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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