I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
