Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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