I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.