Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?

(206): View more from Washington

neither do i

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(206): remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot? (206): neither do i http://tfl.nu/7dbm

Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (735)
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(917): View more from New York City

Where you at

(1-917): View more from New York City

assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

(917): View more from New York City

Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

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(917): Where you at (1-917): assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup? (917): Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed. http://tfl.nu/v1xe

Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (2684)
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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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(646): I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me http://tfl.nu/nl48

Replies (20) Good night (4651) Bad night (919)
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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating

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(314): i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating http://tfl.nu/x9qt

Replies (45) Good night (5170) Bad night (646)
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(310): View more from California

so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

(818): View more from California

by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

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(310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r

Replies (43) Good night (14133) Bad night (1171)
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(631): View more from New York

just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

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(631): just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high. http://tfl.nu/w9mm

Replies (28) Good night (6177) Bad night (868)
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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(707): I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child. http://tfl.nu/d3n6

Replies (4) Good night (2880) Bad night (869)
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(925): View more from California

I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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(925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0

Replies (7) Good night (3897) Bad night (845)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.

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(609): he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it. http://tfl.nu/w24u

Replies (18) Good night (1571) Bad night (6770)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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(651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae

Replies (7) Good night (3373) Bad night (922)
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(303): View more from Colorado

It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

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(303): It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/jl72

Replies (6) Good night (412) Bad night (1018)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

(415): View more from California

Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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(937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c

Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (473)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.

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(770): I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid. http://tfl.nu/3jns

Replies (2) Good night (1359) Bad night (295)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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(403): It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/72jz

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (243)
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(905): View more from Ontario

He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried

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(905): He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried http://tfl.nu/pylc

Replies (5) Good night (323) Bad night (531)

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