Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I think I just got seasick

(409): View more from Texas

you're not on a boat

(408): View more from California

he has a waterbed.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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(417): View more from Missouri

on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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(650): View more from California

you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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(805): View more from California

100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.

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(561): View more from Florida

Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.

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